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If you are trying to cope with a partner who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder--or even merely a pathological level of narcissism--you may want to read some self-help books that can provide you with insight regarding what's going on with your partner and why he likely behaves as he does. Of course, you probably want to know what you should be doing now that you're awakening to the abusiveness of your relationship--even if it appears to be limited to verbal abuse. So, Whether you want to learn more about narciccism, narcissists, or the narcissistic; what verbal abuse and emotional abuse are really about; how to deal with your partner's addictions whether they are to substances or sex; and other topics such as your own likely codeendency and need for recovery from that, check out the books listed below. Excuse a few pictures that didn't want to appear for one reason or another. I do believe all the links work--that they will take you over to Amazon. You can see pictures of the missing covers there! However, be forewarned that when you do click over to Amazon, the page may be a tad slow to load. Then again, perhaps that is just the case with my computer.

I sincerely hope you find some books that are helpful since, hahving once walked in sinilar shoes to your own,I suspect what you are facing now seems particularly challenging and emotionally painful. Reading some of these books should give you good information that could prove both comforting and motivating. Those would be good things, wouldn't you agree?

Truths about the Verbally or Emotionally Abusive Relationship and the Abusive Man for Any Woman Confused Regarding Why She's Suffering from Depression, Anxiety, and Low Self Esteem

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond

Are you uncertain if your partner engages in verbal abuse? Read this book right now! It is proably the best book out there for opening your eyes and causing that fog of confusion to lift. Discover there is a reason for your depression and anxiety. Furthermore, you probably aren't crazy despite what your spouse might claim. His verbal abuse could be taking a toll on your well-being, however. So, read this book and start shouting, "I'm not going to take it anymore!" 

Stillneed more proof? Check out the stories of the women in this book. You might be surprised to discover men who engage in verbal abuse say practically the same things. You'd think they'd been to verbal abuse school. Of course,as you read this book and recognize this fact, you'll see your partner's verbal abuse speaks louder about the type of person he is, and less about you.

The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?: A Woman' Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go

Yes, it's yet another self-help book by Patricia Evans. She keeps writing helpful ones, so I like to recommed them. Anyway, if you want to keep your head in the sand and continue to believe your husband is being varbally abusive by accident, or he'd change if he  only knew how much this hurt you, then ignore this book. But otherwise, grab it now. Learn how the verbally abusive man often
creates merely the illusion of change. Is this seems true of your partner, you might consider getting out versus staying in the relationship. This self-help book provides guidance on how to take those first steps to the rest of your life, too.

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The Batterer: A Psychological Profile

I know, at this website about narcissism, addictions, and abuse, I basically ignore the type of men who enage in physical abuse. Do you want to know about them, however? Then read this book by Dr. Dutton. You'll realize not all abusers are created equal, but they fall into diferent categories. And while you might be able to figure out some ways to deal with your verbally abusive narcissist, there are some abusers women need to run from. Allow Dr. Dutton to introduce them.

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The Abusive Personality: Violence and Control in Intimate Relationships

Okay, this book might be targeted more to the clinican or researcher than you as an abused woman. Nonetheless, if you'd like to understand how various facors weave together to create  men who engage in different types of domestic violence, study this book. Will psychotherapy or medication help your verablly and emotionally abusive husband? You should have your answer by the time you snap this book shut.

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing

Are you wondering how verbal abuse differs from emotional abuse? Therapist Beverly Engel claims any behavior designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish, or isolate is emotionally abusive. Her self-help book identifies ten patterns of abuse. Interestingly enough, she addresses both the abusive man and the abused woman. She shows each party how emotional abuse affects the relationship. Well, since you obviously want to end your emotionally abusive relationship if you possibily can, you'll be glad to know she shows you how to do that as well.

The Emotionally Abused Woman : Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself

Would you like to know not only if you're in an emotionally abusive relationship, but how or why you ended up in one in the first place? This book reflects upon the role of growing up in an emotionally abusive family or lifetsyle. But if this is the likely reason you're in an emotionally abusive relationship today, you'll soon gain the knowledge needed to feel comfortable going forth and making changes. Then you might decide you don't need emotional abuse in your life any longer, don't you suppose?

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Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Do you wonder how a man who professes to love you can treat you so badly? If you keep hoping that he'll change, this book will open your eyes to the pay-offs he gains from his abusive behavior. Since there are many of them, he doesn't have much motivation to be any different. Recognizing this, if you decide to leave and expect the legal system to provide the type of support and assistance you ned and desire, you might want to modify your expectations. That way, you won't end up feeling abused by the leagl systme, too. Anyway, this book can be your tool for doing that.

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No Visible Wounds: Identifying Non-Physical Abuse of Women by Their Men

Sure, we've talked about verbal abuse and emotional abuse. But have you heard about psychological abuse, economic abuse, and social abuse? If not, Dr. Miller discusses these other types of abuse that might leave no visible wounds, but indeed wound their victims. You'll understand how or why these subtle forms of abusue can have such significant negative effects. And should you decide you've had enough of them in your own relationship, the author offers guidance on how to get out of an abusive relationship while best enruing the safety of you and your children.

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Who Else Needs to Know about Alcoholism, Substance Abuse, and/or  Sexual Addiction?
(Internet Pornograhy Addiction Included)

Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction

While this book by sexual addiction expect, Dr. Patrick Carnes, targets the sex addict himself, if your partner has a pathological relationship with sex and uses it as a mood-altering drug, this book might prove helpful. You'll better understand sexual addiction and its likely progression through the cycles of preoccupation, ritualization, compulsive sexual behavior, and then finally, despair. You’ll also realize that because you sex addict partner feels unloved and unlovable, he has little confidence in the love of others. Did you realize that includes your love, and that's why he can become calculating, manipulative, and even ruthless? Of course, he wants to ensure his continual sexual supply. But can this addiction be overcome? you probably want to ask. Indeed, Dr. Carnes offers hope in this book. He suggests that through a twelve-step program, the sexual addict can learn how to live a life that focuses on human relationships, not merely sex.

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Don't Call It Love: Recovery From Sexual Addiction

Here's another book by sexual addiction expert Dr. Patrick Carnes. It uncovers truths about the lives of sex addicts and the people who love them. Dr. Carnes and his fellow researchers surveyed and interviewed some 1000 sexual addicts and their codependent partners. The result is this book, packed with testimonies written by recovering sex addicts as well as those with full-fledged sexual addictions. Since this self-help book is also filled with Dr. Carnes’s clinical insights, this book can point the way towards healing and establishing a healthy sexual relationship for your sex addict and you.

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In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior

Do you suspect your spouse is addicted to pornography on the internet? If he is spending his time in chat rooms seeking cybersex, this book is written for him. Nonetheless, you might find it helpful. You'll better understand your sex addict partner, as well as what you face as a couple. Dr. Patrick Carnes and his coauthors offer not only insight into what is a growing problem in this country, but he once again offers the sex addict hope and ways to deal with his sexual addiction.

Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-Hatred

Did you know that while some people seek and engage in sex compulsively, others strive to avoid it? They have an uncomfortable relationship with sex and intimacy. If this is true for you, this book might have information you've been seeking. Perhaps, for example, you are turned off to sex because of your spouse’s narcissism, addictions, and abuse? But then again, if you’re honest with yourself, you might realize there has been more lurking there than that. Let this book speak to you and guide you. Feel whole and embrace your sexuality in a healthy way.

Have you been focusing upon your husband’s addictions, perhaps denying you have your own? If that's true, you might want to grab this book.. A number of therapists claim it has opened their female clients' eyes to core issues behind their addictions. This book is powerful because it talks about things women often don’t want to acknowledge, even in the privacy of their therapists' offices. Sexual addiction is one of these. Are you keeping this or something else hidden? Would it be a relief to read about it in the privacy of your home?

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Marriage On The Rocks: Learning to Live with Yourself and an Alcoholic

It’s not easy being the wife of an alcoholic. Except I din't need to tell you that, do I? I suspect not. So, if you doubt your sanity because you're married to an alcoholic, you might need to make this book your next read. You'll learn how alcoholism affects the entire family. As your eyes are opened to the truth versus what your alcoholic partrner would have you believe, you might decide to leave. But if you decide to stay, you’ll definitely need the guidance of this book to help your disover techniques for maintaining your sanity in what will  likely become an increasingly insane world.

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I'll Quit Tomorrow: A Practical Guide to Alcoholism Treatment

Do you shake your head and wonder why your alcoholic spouse keeps engaging in such self destructive behavior and does nothing to change? If so, you’ll enjoy devouring this classic book. It reveals the mindset of the alcoholic, and shows the steps that take them down to where so many ultimately land. But in addition to gaining this understanding, you’ll read words of wisdom on how to help your alcoholic partner. In fact, many claim it's a must-read for those with an alcoholic spouse.

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Secrets about Narcissism and the Narcissistic and How to Avoid Being Done In By One, too!

Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism

What are the deadly sins of pathological narcissism? According to author and psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss, they are shamelessness, magical thinking, arrogance, envy, entitlement, exploitation and bad boundaries. If she was making a formal diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and using the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to do so, she might talk primarily in terms of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. Anyway, what you don't want to miss is that the narcissists amongst us are incapable of loving anyone else, and they use others as objects for their own gain or benefit.  Also, because they tend to destroy the lives of those they touch, many would suggest that if at all possible, don’t strive to manage a relationship with a narcissist, but merely run away instead. But sometimes you can’t avoid them, and so you need the advice found in this book. However, after digesting it, you might stand a better chance of steering clear of  any narcissists in your midst. And frankly, that would be a good thing.

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Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited

Would you like to read a book by a self-professed narcissisist? Yep, that's what Dr. Sam Vaknin claims he is. He’ll also tell you flat out that your narcissistic partner doesn’t love you, and he isn’t capable of love, either. But he'll also tell you that he needs the admiration of you and others for his narcissitic supply. And, like the human body, the narcissist must be fed with your adoration regularly. Let him down and immediately, you become the enemy. Of course, any enemy must be destroyed by any means possible; the end justifies the means in the mind of the narcissist. So really, is this any way to live? You might decide it isn't after hearing the truth from a man who should know. Thus, read this book only if you’re ready to face the truth about narcissism, narcissists, and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

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The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family

Here's a very popular book on unhealthy levels of narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. While some books about narcissism and the narcissistic are so difficult to read I haven’t listed them, people rave about how the author organized and presented this book’s content. So, if you suspect you’re dealing with a narcissistic spouse and you might be sticking around and accepting his narcissistic rages and abuse because you get some of your own narcissistic needs met by being in this relationship—such as feeling important because you’re with a financially successful guy—give this book a read.

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Whose Life Is It Anyway: When to Stop Taking Care of Their Feelings and Start Taking Care of Your Own

Do you realize that while people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Antisocial Personality Disorder might lack any empathy, other people are probably too empathetic for their own good? Author Dr. Nina Brown claims these people get so involved in the problems of others, that they don't take adequate care of their own needs. Perhaps you're such an individual? Since I suspect you might be, read this book and learn how to build personal boundaries. Start taking care of yourself for a change!

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Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents

Was one or both of your parents narcissistic? This impacted you, you realize that, right? Okay, if you didn't, you'll understand the consequences of such an upbringing after reading this book. And quite frankly, you do want to become aware of how your past is driving you in the present, so you can put the rational adult into the driver's seat. After all, the wounded child part of you has been driving your life thus far, but it hasn't gotten you to where you wanted to go, has it? So, since you don't want it driving you forever, grab this book and step onto the pathway of change. You can do it, you know.

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Narcissism: Denial of the True Self

Some books draw more mixed reviews than others. This is one of those books. Personally, I liked it. It helped me to have more compassion for the narcissistic. Nonetheless, I came to realize that since it was difficult to cure this personality disorder, perhaps it was best I'd decided to leave my spouse with his narcissism, addicrions, and abusive ways. Yes, it was good I'd become commited to rediscovering my own true self that I'd allowed to fade away because of him. You might want to do the same, but read this book first and then you decide. 

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Loving the Self-Absorbed: How to Create a More Satisfying Relationship with a Narcissistic Partner

Do you really want to love someone who is self-absorbed? I suspect that in time, you probably won’t. But perhaps you feel like you must stay with your narcissist—at least for awhile? If that is the case, this book could prove helpful. You’ll gain insight into what you face, plus how to behave to keep down the number of nariccissitic rage attacks you encounter, for example. Because you live in an insane situation, it isn’t going to be easy. You’ll need all the help you can get, so you might want to buy this book this minute, wouldn't you agree?

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Trapped in the Mirror

This book should also prove helpful if you were the child of a narcissistic parent. It's a book that apparently has opened the eyes of many. You may or may not like the fact the author shares her own story as well as those of friends and clients harmed by narcissistic parents. Also, while this book should build awareness and help you realize you’ll never gain the love of a narcissistic parent because the narcissist isn’t capable of this, you might be disappointed that the book doesn’t offer all the self-help techniques you might have expected. Sometimes you can't get everything you need from one book. But should you expect to, really? Sometimes you benefit from the indepth coverage a book provides that tries to do just one thing.

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Here's Why You Might have Hooked Up with a Narcissistic, Addicted, and Abusive Man Plus What to Do About Your Codependency or Addiction to Him!

Smart Women/Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men Avoiding the Wrong Ones

Okay, this book might be targeted at the single woman, not you. But it could still prove helpful. In fact, it might help you identify some of the futile mechanisms and thought processes that keep you and other women stuck in hopeless relationships. See, Dr. Cowan and Dr. Kinder bring male perspectives to the table, whereas so many of the books I recommend were written by women. So, help yourself unravel the mystery of men's behavior in relationships by reading this book. Then, if you end up leaving your spouse and later find yourself seeking a new relationship, you'll be comfortable because you'll have used the authors' helpful hints on how to come into your own power and take assured chances with men. 

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How to Break Your Addiction to a Person

Are you wondering if you love your partner or are addicted to him instead? This book should help you reach a conclusion. And, if you decide  it is an addiction and time to break the habit, this book has plenty of passages to underline so you can remind yourself why you don’t want to waver on this decision—or return to him after you’ve left. Yes, this book might provide just the ammunition you need to destroy your own self destructive ways, and go on to create a new life more in alignment with your dreams.

Codependent No More: Beyond Codependency

This is actually a single volume that includes two classic books by Melody Beattie, a former addict who disliked codependents, or people she defined as those who allowed another person's behavior to affect him or her, and who became obsessed with controlling the addict's behavior. But then, Beattie found the tables reversed, and she herself became codependent. These books help you understand the traits and self-defeating behaviors of codependency, plus they divulge steps you can take to move beyond your codependency. Doesn't that sound like information you need?

Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives

Perhaps you’ve noticed that the person raised in a dysfunctional or abusive environment often sabotages and cripples his or her life? Mellody labels the problem as codependency, and she discusses the core symptoms of codependency as difficulty: Experiencing appropriate levels of self-esteem, setting functional boundaries, owning and expressing one's own reality, taking care of one's adult needs and wants, and behaving moderately. She suggests the first step towards healing codependency is becoming aware that one is codependent, and then desiring to change. Are you ready to take it?

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Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love

Have you had one disappointing short-lived relationship after another? Or perhaps you’ve stayed with someone, but he never seems interested anymore, at least not until you’re about to walk away? Then you dance together again—but likely only temporarily. Soon, he is disinterested again, isn't that so? Well, if any of this has a familiar ring, you might want to read this book. Discover if you’re a love addict and what to do about it, too.

Ditch That Jerk : Dealing With Men Who Control and Hurt Women

Need a book that isn’t weighed down by research, but is a gritty and honest view of men who engage in physical and emotional abuse? This book shows you how to assess your partner’s and relationship’s potential for abuse, as well as the potential for change. The author discusses drug and alcohol abuse as warning signs, and then delves into excuses abusive men give to explain their behavior. And while the author doesn’t offer false hope that such relationships can be saved, she nonetheless maintains an optimistic and empowering tone while she forgoes the candy-coating. As a result of reading this book, you might find it easier to make a clear-headed decision about your painful marriage or relationship to your abuisve and addicted narcissist.

Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why

Have you been suffering anxiety, depression, and weight gain as you’ve struggled to try and make your partner understand how his subtle insults and manipulative behavior hurts your feelings, your self esteem, or your self worth? If your Dr. Jekyll has turned into a Mr. Hyde, this book will help you see that your husband’s resentment is not about you, but he dislikes women in general (if not all people, actually). Furthermore, he must get in touch with this and work on his own issues if your marriage is to shift and become something that meets your needs as well as his. Otherwise, as Dr. Susan Forward points out, you might waste years of your life wishing and hoping he will change when in reality, you will be the one changing as you deteriorate both emotionally and physically. You don't want that, do you? Read this book because you won't be sorry you did. However, you might be in years to come if you don't, and then awaken one day to realize you've wasted your life. Don't let that happen, okay?

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Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go

Do you know the difference between love and obsession? This book, also by Dr. Susan Forward, gives you some answers. While the book deals with the concerns of the pursued as well as the one doing the pursuing, this book focuses more on those who can’t walk away from an unhealthy relationship, or won’t accept it's over when the other has made it clear it most certainly is. After reading this book and implementing its suggestions, though, you should be in a better place regardless if you're currently the pursued one, or the one doing the pursuing.

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Women Who Love Too Much

Does Robin Norwood actually use the term codependency or not in this book? I can’t remember at this point, but this book is a good fit for this category, certainly. Indeed, this book is for the woman who loves her man so much that she'll do anything for him and suffer all sorts of emotional pain. Of course, the oject of her affection is typically emotionally unavailable, if not outright verbally, emotionally, and otherwise abusive. If what I just said describes you and your relationship, this book could prove to be a life-saver, actually.

Are You Ready to Read these Books  Revealing Secrets about Dysfunctional Families and Destructive Childhoods and How to Overcome Your Painful Past?

It Will Never Happen to Me: Growing Up With Addiction As Youngsters, Adolescents, Adults

Are you aware of this book? It was the groundbreaking book for adult children of alcoholics. As such, it has opened the eyes of many affected by growing up under rules such as don’t talk, don’t trust, and don’t feel. It has acquainted adult children of alcoholics with the roles they tended to play in their dysfunctional homes that they unknowingly dragged into adulthood. These roles have often kept them from discovering or honoring the desires of their true selves, too. Dr. Black, however, gives these adult children a way to lose the legacy of a household not only ravaged by alcoholism, but she has expanded her classic book to give messages of hope and a pathway to change to adults impacted by other parental addictions as well. Could this be you? If so, discover this easy-to-read book and begin digesting it now.

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Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

Parents who are controllers, alcoholics, drug abusers, physical abusers, verbal abusers, emotional abusers, and/or sexual abusers all fall under Dr. Susan Forward's unblrella of toxic parents. They don’t just do something wrong from time-to-time, in other words.No, they have a negative impact on their children's lives almost daily. Furthermore, if you had such a parent and are still struggling in adulthood with feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness, or if you’ve never felt you were loved, you’ll want to read this book. Don’t let the harm of your past keep harming you in the present. Or, toss away the script your parents forced you to act out and instead, find or create a new one more to your liking. You’re worth it, no matter what your toxic parents told you!

Prisoners of Childhood: The Drama of the Gifted Child and the Search for the True Self

Does your spouse remain out-of-touch with his feelings and his true self while he remains driven to greater and greater achievement? Do you suspect this stems from an underlying sense of worthlessness? The sad truth is, if he is a narcissist because he was brought up by narcissistic parents, he might inflict a similar legacy on your children. If you hope to understand how narcissists damage their children so you might break the cycle, you'll want to purchase and read this Alice Miller book.

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The Truth Will Set You Free: Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self

Famed psychoanalyst Alice Miller says it's only by examining and embracing the truth of our past histories that we can be freed of pain in the present. To help make her points, Miller uses true stories that reveal the perils of early childhood mistreatment. She also draws upon the latest research on brain development to show the reader how spanking and humiliation produce dangerous levels of denial. In turn, this leads to mental barriers that cut off awareness and the ability to learn new ways of acting. Thus, as so often happens, the cycle repeats itself, or similar forms of abuse are perpetuated upon the next generation. But readers of this book are going to do their best to ensure this doesn’t happen, don’t you imagine?

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For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence

Alice Miller is German and thus, she speaks of the violence used against children in German homes throughout the years. Nonetheless, her work, including this book, speak to many Americans, too. She helps you realize that while you might not view your early childhood experiences as violent, they might well have been more so than you've ever realized. She helps you see the childhood wounds you might need to overcome, as well as why you want to avoid similar child rearing practices in your own family. Indeed, why perpetuate such damage upon your children out of ignorance when there's no need to do so? No,  don't to that. Read this book instead.

Silently Seduced: When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest

You probably understand what we mean when we talk about incest, right? If you’re walking around wondering why your adult relationships don’t work despite the fact you weren’t the victim of something this extreme, read what Dr. Adams has to say about covert incest.So, what is it exactly? Well, it's where a parent expected the child to play the role of surrogate spouse emotionally. Thus, the child heard things and had to deal with things a child isn't ready to handle emotionally and shouldn’t have to, either. As the child listened to her father complain about his disappointing sex life with alcoholic Mom, for example, she felt special while at the same time realizing there was something that didn't feel quite right about what was happening. Again, despite the fact there was no overt sexual abuse or incest, the grown woman might well behave as if this was indeed her history. By the way, if any of this sounds like your early history, do yourself a favor and buy the book.

The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life

Have you been wondering how you ever ended up with relationship problems when you came from a family where things seemed right and your parents did no wrong? Well, consider this: Were you a chosen child? If you were, Dr. Patricia Love suggests that while this sounds like a positive thing, it had its downside. You probably learned to deny your own needs to meet those of a parent. She labels this as emotional incest. But the good news is she provides you with hope and help in overcoming this legacy, too.

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Adult Children of Abusive Parents: A Healing Program for Those Who Have Been Physically, Sexually, or Emotionally Abused

Children abused in both physical and nonphysical ways often grow up into adults with issues that make adulthood difficult. This book, however, can help you realize how even subtle abuse may have impacted you. And while right now you might not appreciate its message to forgive your abuser, you’d do well to adopt it sooner versus later. This way, you'll become less the victim of your past and instead, become capable of creating a present that’s devoid of abusive people. And did you realize that includes you being abusive towards yourself? Anyway, while this might not be the first book you elect to buy, consider this Stephen Farmer book nonetheless.

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Intriducing Other Kinds of Problematic People
(Besides those Displaying Narcissism,  Addictions, & Abuse, though they Might Display These, too)

Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You

Do guilt, fear, and shame rule your life? Perhaps you have an emotional blackmailer in your life, suggests Dr. Susan Forward. Then again, you might be doing it to yourself. Do you silently condemn youself for not thinking and doing as a past or present blackmailer in your life would have you do instead? Also, are you labeling yourself as wrong, selfish, or perhaps even evil? Well, then yo have some detrimental patterns to break, don't you suppose? And don't you suppose this book can be your guide regarding how to do this, too?

Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You

Author Patricia  Evans talks about more than the controlling marital partner, certainly. But since you're undoubtedly hooked up with a controlling man, this book could prove helpful. Try what she suggests. The tactics might not work with your spouse with his narcissism, addictions, and abusive ways. But at least you can tell yourself you gave it your best shot before you walk out that door, wouldn't you agree? Also, you might be better able to keep men from controlling you in the future. Now wouldn't that be nice?

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Shadow Syndromes: The Mild Forms of Major Mental Disorders That Sabotage Us

You've heard me talk about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD. I also talk about Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD. I talk about substabce abuse or chemical dependency. I talk about other mental health issues. And certainly, you can't exist in society today without knowing about the increase in autism, for ecample. But did you know a person doesn't have to be daignosable with a full fledged personality disorder or other mental health condition to suffer problems? The authors point out that these "shadow syndromes"  can create serious havoc in a person's life nonetheless. In fact, this book discusses some of the more commonm ones causing individuals, families, and coworkers emotional pain and other probelms. So, are any of them plaguing you or your family? I suspect that just might be the case. Read the book and find out.

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Self-improvement/Self Development/
Recovery/Spiritual Growth

The 12 Steps : A Way Out : A Spiritual Process for Healing

Consider getting this workbook, then asking a half dozen folks you know through Al-Anon or another twelve-step program to join you. Work through the exercises together. Sure, it won't always be easy to share your answers with others. But remember, these people have probably experienced things just as painful or shameful. When you read your answer and see them hardly react because it isn't shocking to them, you experience something healing. It helps you move beyond the shame, the blame, and all the other bad feelings and thoughts that have kept you stuck and unhappy in life. At least, that is what happened for me. But if you want to buy this workbook and do the exercises in private, plus keep them that way, that is okay, too.

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Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families

Would you like to read another book that talks about the inner child? The author presents it as that part which, when you have dealt with any wounds to it, can cause you to be more spontaneous, fun-loving, and enjoy a curiosity and love of life that enriches not only your own life experience, but will probably bring immense joy to those about you, too. However, if you are being harmed by your inner child rather than helped by it, this book will provide needed guidance on how to get from where you are to where you want to be instead. Having a healed inner child, you will be able to experience a love for life again—or perhaps for the first time?

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Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child

John Bradshaw talks about a part of you that never forgets anything harmful you’ve experienced. While some might prefer to use the metaphor of the hard drive of the brain, he uses that of the wounded inner child instead. He discusses how you might have been wounded by child abuse or neglect, for example, or by other events, including those inconsequential by adult standards. The problem is, for the small child, they were not. So, these wounds continue to drive you in adulthood unless you confront them, tame them, and lay them to rest. Are you wondering how to do this? You’ll find helpful exercises in this book.

Healing the Shame that Binds You: Recovery Classics Edition (Recovery Classics)

This book can help you with your self improvement or personal development, and it can help you better understand the narcissist in your life. Both of you might be carrying around shame. And while it could stem from things you did, more likely, it is shame you took on as a small child that belonged to your parents or other adults. Still, that shame can drive you and make you feel worthless. Because this often happens at an unconscious level, however, you might not be aware this is the case. You might act out this unconscious shame by playing less than to your narcissitic spouse's better than role. Or do you sometimes switch between the two? Since none of these represent emotionally healthy ways to live, use this book by John Bradshaw to help you change if you suspect shame is impacting your life. Otherwise, use what you find in this book to help you better understand your partner displaying narcissism, addictions, and verbal as well as emotional abuse.

Lifeskills for Adult Children

When you are the adult child of an alcoholic, you often have trouble functioning because you might have trouble asking for what you want without getting angry, your are overly sensitive to criticism, you don’t have good boundaries and have trouble saying “No!” to people, and you suffer from low self esteem or feelings of worthlessness much of the time. You also might lack a good sense of what is normal and what skills you should have to cope with life because you never saw them modeled at home. Anyway, if much of this rings true for you, you probably will like this book. Why don’t you purchase it now and see if it becomes that impetus to change you’ve been looking for.

The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

Has your anger made you feel powerlessness rather than being your faithful servant? Then check out this book. Let it open your eyes to the fact anger is a symptom. When you seek to understand and deal with the problem that is perpetuating it, it will likely disappear. You’ll have your sense of personal power back—or perhaps experience it for the first time!

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Creating Love: The Next Great Stage of Growth

What do people want? To love and be loved. Some of us go about it in some strange and unproductive ways, however. But if you have read the other Bradshaw books and worked through your shame issues, for example, it might be time to read this book. And why does Bradshaw talk about creating love? Because whie many of us believe that love just happens and is effortless because we've believed and operated under the notion of romantic love, conscious people choose to love, or to create love. So, read and work through his other books first. Then you’ll be ready for this book, don’t you imagine?

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The Intimacy Struggle: Revised and Expanded for All Adults

The original edition of this book targeted adult children of alcoholics with trust and intimacy issues. It brought tears of relief to readers' eyes as they gained hope they could create different types of relationships in the future than they had in the past. I have not read this revised edition, but the author has supposedly made the book applicable to all adults who want to experience greater intimacy with a beloved partner.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Dr. Gottman is amazing. He can predict with unbelievable accuracy which couples will divorce in the future by merely watching them for about five minutes on video as they strive to solve some type of conflict or problem. If he watched  you and your narcissistic, addicted, and abusive husband, I suspect he'd predict divorce because this researcher, while he might not talk about verbal abuse and emotional abuse, is basically picking up on the behaviors and attitudes present in abusive relationships and used by abusive people. Thus, while the prognosis for your marriage might be poor, you shoud still read this book because if you do divorce and then marry again, you want things to work well the second time around, right? So, go ahead and purchase this book.

Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage: America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship

Do you like to read actual dialogue of real people dealing with real issues? Then you'll like this book which introduces you to ten couples. Each is trying to resolve a different common marital problem. You're shown the right and wrong ways to deal with issues and conflict. But if your spouse with his narcissism, addictions, and abusive ways has no interest in trying them out, just remember these will be handy to have in your toolkit for the future, don't you imagine?