If you're struggling to cope with a partner who displays one or more of the trio of narcissism, addictions, and abuse, you may benefit from reading some self-help books. I once listed some I particularly liked on this website, but I decided to remove that page. See, many of the books I used to recommend were written quite awhile back. I suspect there are some newer books you might prefer. So, I'm going to suggest you do some searches on Amazon and start reading reviews--as well as pay attention to the top sellers for the topic in which you're particularly interested. Anyway, while reading about the books as well as their reviews, see which most resonate with you. Then go ahead and read those books. Of course later, you may well discover that different books suddenly appeal to you. But then, you may have been changing without even realizing it.
I would also recommend that you try and find a good psychtherapist to help guide you. When you call to make an appointment, be upfront regarding what you've been dealing with. If the therapist doesn't seem to understand that your problems are more extensive than communication problems, let's say, you might want to try another therapist.
On a related note, I actually have a manuscript essentially completed that I need to get out there to an agent who can sell it to a publisher for me. I'm going to try and make this a priority since I suspect that there are more than a few of you who could benefit from it. I deal with a number of the things you're going to have to consider and take action regarding, certainly. So, if you think you might want to purchase it when it comes out (or, for that matter, my novel about a woman whose seemingly good life implodes, forcing her to contend with some very unexpected and unsettling situations--though there is ultimately a silver lining), please send me an email through the form at my contact page. Just please make certain I have your name and email address so I contact you about both books.
Right now, though, let me wish you the best. And please, strive to believe you'll have better tomorrows. They just might look different than you're currently anticipating!